He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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