He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize