why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
