Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
