I wanna bring you to show and tell
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
