living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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