We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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