Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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