Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize