Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
