I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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