so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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