its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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