We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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