Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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