Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
