i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
