"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
