I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
