just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
