why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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