ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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