its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
