We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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