So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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