It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
