I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I just googled if crying burns calories
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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