You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
