I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
