I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
