Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Randomize
