One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
