So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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