I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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