My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
