My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
