In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
