Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
