am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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