I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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