Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
