Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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