Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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