As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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