Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
