He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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