I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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