o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Someone signed my nipple.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
