you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
