I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
