just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
