I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
