i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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