I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
