Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
