no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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