Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
