Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
